“I could never date long distance.”
-Says every girl, at some point or another
Yep, I was that girl! And maybe at one time you were too. At the young age of 21, I was desperately looking to find love (again), but simultaneously looking to live out my senior year of college the best way possible, with my best friends! (AKA the single girl way!) Deep down though, I knew I wanted a boyfriend. Yes, dating was fun, and booooy do I have some awkward dating stories, but I’ve never been the jump from guy-to-guy type. In high school, my best friend and I use to joke saying, “I’m not crazy, I just have a lot of love to give!” HA!! It was all true, I wanted to love bad… just never from a distance.
*Cue God laughing at me here*
And like any mother or best friend says, “The moment you stop looking is when you’ll find the perfect person.” Well, dang it, they were right. Maybe another time, in another blog post, I’ll share how Jake and I met (in the most romantic bar in Cincinnati), but until then… let’s fast forward a bit.
After meeting, texting, and Face-timing for a few weeks, Jake and I both knew it was time to have a REAL date (And I needed to make sure he wasn’t a total freak that was smelly, had a weird eye twitch, etc. RIGHT?!) Within the first 15 minutes at dinner, I knew I wouldn’t be seeing the last of this guy. We hardly touched our food, and talked for HOURS straight, barely taking a breath. I spent the entire weekend with him and was 100%, completely smitten. We had one tiny problem though, we lived over 3 hours away from each other; me being in Columbus, him being in Detroit. Not ideal for a Senior in college trying to “live it up”, remember?!
A few weekends of us visiting each other, quickly turned into much more serious conversations. I will be the first to admit, I was the one who asked the infamous question, “So what are we?” AND I was the first to say “I love you”… thankfully Jake replied to both in the exact way I was hoping for. Graduation was creeping closer for me, which meant I needed to start job searching/figuring out where I was going to live. I NEVER saw myself leaving Columbus, but suddenly the city didn’t matter… he did.
That winter, after the new year, was HARD. Life got busy for the both of us, sometimes meaning that we would go weeks without seeing each other. We would call and text throughout our days, and Face Time every night, but if you’ve ever been in a long distant relationship before, you know that kind of life gets old. FAST. I remember crying to him on the phone some nights because I was just so over small talking on the phone. I was longing to actually SEE him, hug him, and honestly just do simple things; like watching TV together at night. (AGAIN, if you’ve lived this life. YOU GET IT!)
Aside from Face Timing nightly, simultaneously watching the same Netflix series to bond over, and of course making plans to see each other as much as possible, the #1 thing that got me through those 9 months; or what I would tell someone if they were currently struggling… is to have an end date. Jake and I knew we wouldn’t last if I graduated, and we continued living afar. It was an honest conversation that needed to happen. We decided that they only way to continue on was to move to the same city together. There was an END to our long-distance, a countdown.
Have that countdown with your significant other!
9 months later, finally together, in our brand new city <3
If you continue on long distance, eventually, you’ll burn out. It may not be the easiest conversation, because ultimately someone may have to give in a little. Fortunately, Jake and I both agreed to move to a completely new city, making it a fresh start, and really bringing us closer as we navigated from square one together. But whether you both go somewhere brand new, or just one sacrifices to move to the other, it’s important to have that end goal.
There are moments every once in a while that I wish we could go back to those first few months of dating; everything was so exciting and fun! But reminiscing on those fun first dates also brings a lot of heartache. The long drives back home on Sunday evenings, after hard goodbyes. Or the hour long phone calls with a whole lot of tears…. I wouldn’t trade any of it for a second, but damn, I’m also really happy we’ll never have to go through that again.
It’s not easy, and at times, seems like it’ll never end; but it will. And one day, it’ll be nothing but a small chapter in your love story. XOXO,
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