There’s something about your first born. Everything is new. Always new. No matter if they are a day old, or heading off to college, you’re experiencing everything for the first time. Everything is a bit more nerve wracking. Absolutely everything feels new. With new comes fear, worry, the unknown. There’s something about your first born that will make you weep into a puddle of tears at any given moment. Nothing prepares you for the next thing that is new.
I remember the night before Connor’s first birthday, I sobbed and sobbed until my entire face was swollen. Jake couldn’t get me under control. I couldn’t believe that my baby had been in our world for an entire year. Here we are two years later (that actually feels like a lifetime) and I’m tearing up typing this. My first born. My baby. The one that changed my world in a single second…he’s going to be three. My heart aches thinking about him getting older. Motherhood is the most wonderful journey I will ever walk in life…if I survive the aches I feel for my children.
Our Connor Herbie is three years old and I want to tell everyone I run into how sweet of a heart he carries. I’ve become very open to Connor’s struggles. There’s a lot of things in life for him right now that are hard. He’s been delayed in major milestones from just months old, and spends that majority of his weeks in and out of therapies to help him play catch up. Although Connor is still learning to talk, jump, skip, and do things most three year olds may already know how; those things are far from what Connor is. He is so much more than his struggles.
Connor loves being outside. Whether it’s raining, snowing, or the perfect summer day, he’ll be following Jake around the yard or playing in our sprinklers. I have a feeling he is going to like the swing set we just bought! Connor is a good eater, mostly preferring fruit. He’s an even better sleeper. From just 3 months he was spoiling us by sleeping through the night, and will still average an average of 13 hours straight through. Connor will play with any kind of car, truck, or bus. School busses are his very favorite though. We make sure to catch it every morning and afternoon when it passes our house.
Connor is our silly heart. His head is in the clouds more times than not, and has the best belly laugh. During his daily quiet time in his room, I almost always hear his giggles through the monitor.
Connor is sensitive. (Just like me.) He wears his heart on his sleeve, hates being told no or getting in trouble, and will cry at the drop of a hat. Jake and I joke that he will most definitely be a teacher’s pet one day. (Also just like me.)
Most importantly, Connor is strong. (A lot stronger than me.) Although he struggles a bit more than other kids, he never quits. He will play alongside anyone else, trying his best to babble and show you what he wants. He will always find a way. I know in my heart that he’ll do great things in his future. Most of all, I can’t wait to hear his voice tell me all those funny thoughts that have kept him laughing all this time.
Connor Herbie, the world needs who you were made to be. Until my last breath, I’ll never stop loving you.