I grew up in a world where you had to be the best. If you weren’t the best, the skinniest, the strongest, or the prettiest, you got cut. Your dreams that you had when you were a little girl, all the work you put in for years leading up… it all got taken away in a single second. Being the best was the only option if you wanted to succeed. End of story.
With everyone around me competing to be the best, it meant that you naturally hoped others would fail. That sounds harsh, but you’re lying if you say you’ve never wished a failure on someone else, so that you could move forward. In college, if a teammate fell, or got hurt, that meant you were one step closer to the spotlight, the big screen.
I have a secret for you; More times than not, I was the girl that fell.
Today, years removed from that competitive environment, I still somehow convince myself that others are waiting for me to fall. I even brace myself for the fall most times.
A couple weeks ago I hit my 20th blog post! It’s hard to believe I’ve been sticking it out for that long. Now some posts are read more than others, specifically these “personal posts” over the more bridal specific ones. Whenever I hit “Publish” though, I catch myself worrying and telling Jake, “What if nobody reads it? Who REALLY cares about wedding dress silhouettes anyways? People would rather read about my messy life.” Before anyone even sees the link of Instagram or Facebook, I assume I will fall. And assuming that when I do fall, others may find amusement out of it. (So positive over here, I know!!) We are assuming others are waiting for us to fall, but in reality, for every negative person in life, there’s three others waiting to give you a high five. There are indeed nice people in the world, no matter how often we forget it.
Here’s the thing, when I had the idea of creating this blog last year, I knew people would judge me. (But don’t we all judge at some point in the other? I don’t pity myself in this.) I figured people would judge me because in today’s world, if you’re good enough, blogging can be a full time career. Never did that cross my mind while creating this blog though, honest to goodness. I figured others would assume that’s what I was trying to do… “Ha! Good luck with that, Kelly.” Would you believe me if I said one of the very first questions people have asked me when it comes to my blog is, “How much money are you making doing it?!” (News Flash. You should never ask this question to anyone, ever.) Sure, we would all love a few more followers on Instagram, and we love seeing comments under our pictures, but I’m constantly reminding myself that the moment I no longer enjoy this, I’ll be done. Dare I even say, you can do something you enjoy without making it your job?! You don’t need to be the best, make money, or get IG famous to do something you love. Do it simply for yourself!
“Women Supporting Women”
Lately, I’ve seen that phrase all over the place, “Women Supporting Women”. Yes, I’m all for it, BUT what about people supporting people?! Who cares if you’re male or female, have a 30 year age difference, or just sincerely don’t have much interest in what someone has to share. SUPPORT THEM ANYWAYS. Go double tap their photo, comment something nice, or heck… maybe even share their post. It truly takes almost zero effort. What if we all supported each other just a little bit more by something as simple as liking a photo on Instagram? Businesses and dreams would soar, but imagine the self-esteem boost that person would have. We ALL need that. And next time you think you can do it all better, go ahead and try. Remember that old saying, “If it were easy, we’d all be doing it.”
Back to the title of this post; “It costs zero dollars to be a nice person.” So next time you want roll your eyes at someone else’s dream or success, remember that even just a simple like on social media, or a comment of encouragement instead, will cost you almost nothing. Don’t wait for someone else to fall so you can succeed… support them.
I hope we all make it.