The Secret to 34 Years of Marriage

I remember in 4th grade I was having a conversation with a group of my friends and every single one had said that their parents were divorced. At the time, I didn’t think much of it… to be honest, I didn’t think twice about it. My parents still being married was rare. And maybe even more rare now. It’s said that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Now, as a newly married woman (how long am I allowed to say that I’m still a newlywed??), I am beginning to understand that marriage is HARD. I’m grateful to have married a guy that is happy literally ALL THE TIME!! (Seriously ask my friends), but that doesn’t mean there aren’t tearful moments here and there, and some days you’re just off. Seasons of life are tough y’all.

I remember in 4th grade being proud to say my parents were still married. I’m even more proud to say it now!

In celebration of my parents’ 34 Year Wedding Anniversary, I sat down with my mom a few weeks ago, dug out her wedding albums, and walked down memory lane with her. Getting married in the 1980’s usually meant puffy sleeves, pastel bridesmaids, and of course, big hair. Aside from my dad’s tuxedo, I’m happy to report back, after looking through my parent’s photos, my mom ‘s overall look was very traditional, and not too trendy (for the 80s). Her A-line shaped gown is timeless, and I personally still favor an all-white bouquet. Also y’all, I have a pretty good feeling that the lilac color scheme is BACK! Watch out for it being the color of this Spring and Summer! (Helloooo, did you see Maren Morris rocking lilac HERE?!)

Fun fact: My mom MADE her veil… and I think she said her wedding gown cost around $300. Safe to say TIMES HAVE CHANGED!

Just for fun, I asked each of them a few questions, wanting to know the real secret behind 34 years of marriage…

Q: Favorite memory from your wedding day?

Dad: Seeing Mom, doing a shot with Herb (his FIL), and knowing everyone has always said it was the best reception.

Mom: Before the ceremony, and hearing he was there. And saying our vows.

Q: One thing you’ve learned in the last 34 years?

Dad: Marriage is a compromise, and if one begins to boss or take advantage of the compromise, things don’t go well. Save as much money as you can early on so you can enjoy life later, stress free.

Mom: You can’t change people but you grow together. Be patient and don’t argue.

Q: Advice for newlyweds?

Dad: Enjoy life and make good memories. Family first.

Mom: Love each other and take time for your marriage. Family vacations are great memories but travel with just your spouse once in awhile to focus on each other.

They are currently frolicking through Italy together as I type this!

I can’t go without saying how thankful Jake, myself, and all my siblings are to have grown up around (and still continue to see) what unconditional love is. Marriage isn’t easy, but these two have never stopped proving that true love can indeed last a lifetime. Happy 34th Anniversary, Mom and Dad! I love you!!

One Comment

  • My wife, Jeanie and I will be married 34 years on March 10, 2024.
    That’s right we were married March 10, 1990 I have learned a few things over the years.
    1. Marriage is not 50-50 I give 50% you give 50% and we have 100% of a marriage. No way that would never work. But rather marriage is 100% 100% meaning if you both put in your ?% into putting Christ as the center of your home. This is crucial. 2. Delete the. ” D” word from your vocabulary! For better for worse to death, do us part. “There is no line in there that says, or when I get tired of you!” Worked it out! Pray together, stay together!
    I agree with your father family vacations are a wonderful way to keep the family together but as your mother said, time away, alone with your husband, or spouse is crucial to a healthy, balanced relationship.
    You are very blessed to have parents who love and support you. You guys can do it. You have a great example and your parents love and cherish each other.

    Your dad said something that reminded me of my grandfather. Your dad said, save as much money early in your marriage as you can so you can enjoy life later my grandfather said basically the same thing, but made light of it. In this matter saying, and I quote:
    “Get what you can. Can what you get ! Then later in life you can sit on your can.”

    Reply

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meet kelly

OHIO BASED WEDDING COORDINATOR & BRIDAL/LIFESTYLE BLOGGER

I’m Kelly! Born and raised in Ohio, wife to Jake, and boy Mom to Connor and Henry. Blogging about life, motherhood, and helping brides make their dreams come true. 

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