When I was pregnant with Connor, I remember thinking of all the things Iâ€™ll accomplish during maternity leave. I had a vision of my baby laying in his swing giggling, while I cooked dinner every night before Jake got home. I told myself I would wake up everyday and do my hair and makeup, making myself feel â€œput together.â€ And I swore I wouldnâ€™t be the mother that says she forgot to drink her poured cup of coffee from 8am that morning. Honestly, before I had Connor, I didnâ€™t believe those mothers; they were being dramatic right?! How does someone â€œforgetâ€ to each lunch.
A naive first-time pregnant mother, I was.
Now that Connor is older, Iâ€™ve mastered folding a load of laundry, doing a quick makeup look, and eating breakfast all within 20 minutes while he happily plays. But I can promise you, Iâ€™ve come a long way from the days of Jake leaving for work, and me calling him at noon crying because Connor wonâ€™t stop crying, and I have yet to brush my teeth for the day.
Itâ€™s taken me close to three months (and still counting) to figure out an identity outside of motherhood. â€œMom guiltâ€ sets in almost daily, but I know that in order to be a better mother [and wife], carving time outside of playing peek-a-boo is important.
Even with the current state of our lives in quarantine, there are a few things that have helped me turn my day around as a mother, or just simply given me a quick break to focus on myself. Instead of finding an identity OUTSIDE of motherhood, Iâ€™m finding my identity in other ways, to help me in this new season of motherhood….
- I wake up and almost immediately make our bed. If I donâ€™t put mascara on, or spend half my day with a sleeping baby on me, I feel like Iâ€™m in control of my house with a made-bed. I feel more put together as a human. Having a clean home makes me a better mother.
- Iâ€™ve also gotten into the habit of reading a quick daily devotion every morning. Being a mother and a wife are my priority, but I am trying to also remind myself that I wonâ€™t strive in either of those roles if I donâ€™t put my relationship with God first. When I talk to God a bit more, everything else seems to run smoothly. Having a personal relationship with God makes me a better mother.
- Daily movement. Now that the sun is coming out here in Cleveland, we go on a walk (or two) everyday. Along with a nice hour walk, Iâ€™m riding virtually with Harness Cycle, in my basement. At first I really struggled taking this 45 minutes to myself while Jake handles Connor. But the high I feel after a hard sweat with my favorite instructors is exactly what I need, mentally and physically. For those 45 minutes, I feel my body transforming back to how it once was, and I feel strong. This time is so crucial for me and my identity. Moving my body makes me a better mother.
- Quality time with Jake. I’ve learned through our relationship that quality time together is one of my main love languages. Our evenings together after Connor is asleep may be simple; watching a show, sharing a snack, or talking about our day… but reconnecting with Jake makes me a better wife, making us a better team, making me a better mother.
- Lastly, this blog. In this season of life, Iâ€™m not able to write as much as I would love to. More times than not (like right now), I write entire posts on my phone, with a little boy who is boycotting all crib naps, on my lap. Right now though, this is the best I can do. My blog gives me excitement outside of motherhood. I can express my thoughts on life, trends, and my true love for bridal. Iâ€™m thankful for this outlet. Taking the time to write makes me a better mother.
I wouldnâ€™t trade the title of â€œMomâ€ for anything. But I also donâ€™t want to give up my other identities as well. I am a mother and wife first, but also a girl that loves quiet time in the morning, an organized routine, a really hard workout, and someone just doing the best she can; balancing life. In order to be a better mother, I must still find identity outside of motherhood.
What an honor it is to be celebrated this Motherâ€™s Day by my friends, family, husband, and sweet baby. A title I donâ€™t take for granted <3 XOXO,